While some people are terrified of commitment and decide a fuckbuddy or FWB relationship is a better route to go for them, others want the no-strings-attached simplicity of a casual relationship in a time of their lives where they’re not looking for anything serious.
Whatever the reason being, having a fuckbuddy is one of the best, or worst, experiences of your life.
In this case, mine is a really good one.
Why Did I Choose To Get A Fuckbuddy?
I’ve been seeing my fuckbuddy for the last four months. He’s the first casual relationship of its kind that I’ve ever had.
I’m the romantic and particularly emotional type, though I don’t like to admit it, and I’ve never just casually dated a guy before. I always stuck to one guy at a time, and if we liked each other enough, we’d date.
I’ve had two boyfriends. Both long-term.
After my most recent breakup with my last boyfriend, I decided I didn’t want to go through another heartbreak just yet, or invest my feelings into someone else anytime soon.
However, anyone who’s single knows that sometimes it’d be so much easier if we had someone we could call on whenever we’re horny. I got horny a lot during the first 3 months of my breakup, but I didn’t have sex with anyone because I couldn’t bring myself to do it just yet.
Eventually, though I couldn’t handle abstinence anymore and decided it was time I get back out there and open myself up for business.
Where Did We Meet?
All my friends, and seemingly everyone I knew, was on Tinder, but I had never used it before. Partly because I find the idea of dating apps utterly absurd, and the other half because I was afraid of people I know seeing me on there.
But alas, I don’t have the best flirting skills with strangers in person, and never ran into any guys I found attractive enough to fuck. So once I got over the dating-app stigma I held onto, I thought, “What could the harm be?” and downloaded Tinder.
After swiping both right and left on a few dozen people, I came across a particularly cute boy with long, dark hair. Exactly my type. I swiped right and decided to call it a night, not even using all of my swipes.
The next morning I woke up to a message from said cute, dark-haired boy. “What’s up?” he asked simply, while also introducing himself and complimenting me at the same time. We chatted throughout the day, making small talk and getting to know each other a bit, and I found out he had been single for a while now.
After about five days of messaging each other, he finally asked me to hang out. We settle on a local coffee house/art gallery to meet at.
How Did It Happen?
The moment I arrived at the coffee house and saw him, I knew I wanted to sit on his face.
But I thought that might be too soon for the first date, but I thought to myself, “Screw society’s standards, I’m getting laid tonight.”
He’s a particularly polite and very consent-oriented guy, which I love, but unfortunately that meant that I had to do most of the flirting and suggesting that I wanted the night to lead somewhere — his bed, specifically.
As I mentioned my flirting skills are not the best, but I’ll let you in on a little secret.
I got high before the date.
I’m a much more relaxed and talkative person when I’m stoned and especially horny; especially if there’s a hot guy in front of me. So the wax did its thing and calmed my nerves enough to let my confidence take over, which he seemed to like, and I made subtle, yet suggestive, moves throughout sips of coffee.
As we exited he asked “So what now?” and I made a bold move and said, “Well, how’s your place sound?” and the rest was history.
Is It Really Possible To Not Catch Feelings?
After that initial night, he made a point to tell me a relationship is not what he’s looking for at the moment. I told him the same, but that’d I really like to have sex with him again. He agreed. While a formal relationship was off the table, a fuckbuddy relationship was just starting.
So we decided that we’d keep it casual and hit each other up when we feel like enjoying a night (or afternoon) together.
Though we were both obviously attracted to one another, I surprisingly found it easy to not catch feelings, and keep it that way.
If you’re anything like me, then you usually swoon over any guy that gives you the slightest bit of attention that seems like he’s into you. With this guy, however, he never made me feel like he was, at least romantically. He’s kind of nonchalant about most things, but extremely passionate in bed. Exactly what I needed.
I knew that he would never be the type of guy I’d want to actually be with though. I need affection and for the guy to be super into me.
Guess I’m a bit of a narcissist.
But choosing a fuckbuddy who you know is not your ideal boyfriend type, and if they show they’re not into you in that way, is the best tip I can give anyone who wants to have a casual relationship.
How Do We Keep It Casual?
Like I said, he’s pretty nonchalant, which made me be that way towards him also.
But it works.
We don’t call one another at all, only text, and only every so often if we find something funny or interesting the other person might like to see, or to let one another know if they forgot anything from the last time we fucked. But other than that, we’re not asking each other how our day was every day, talking about personal troubles, or pillow-talking.
We hang out if there’s a band in town playing we both like, or just see each other when we’re out and chat for a bit, but other than that, we don’t make an extensive effort to see each other on the daily. Both of us also see other people from time to time, and fuck other people, too, remembering to get tested every so often, so neither of us is too attached.
What Happens When One Of Us Wants To End It?
Eventually, I may get tired of this guy, or him of me. Or maybe he’ll finally meet a girl he likes and wants to get to know, or maybe I will when I feel ready. But we both know we’re not in any commitment to one another, so I’d imagine it’d be no big deal if and when we want to end our fuckbuddy relationship.
It may just even die out naturally.
For the time being though, we’re happy with our dynamic, happy with the sex, and I’m happy with the uncomplicatedness of this relationship. It’s given me time to focus on myself while also being able to have sex with a designated person whenever I’m feeling horny.